Last night, I dreamt that I had a pet unicorn. And then Boyfriend killed it. When I woke up, I was still kind of mad. Boyfriend was like "what's wrong?"
Me: "I had a bad dream."
Boyfriend: "I'm sorry. What was it about?"
Me: "I had a pet unicorn... "
Boyfriend: "That doesn't sound bad at all. That actually sounds pretty awesome."
Me: "No, but you killed it."
Boyfriend: "I killed your unicorn?"
Me: "Yeah."
Boyfriend: "Why would I do that?"
Me: "I don't know. You tell me."
Boyfriend: "Allie, I can't tell you because I didn't actually do anything."
Me: "I'm confused."
Boyfriend: "Why?"
Me: "Because what you are saying is logical, but I'm still totally pissed at you for killing my unicorn."
Boyfriend: "But I didn't kill your unicorn. Unicorns don't even exist."
Me: "I know that... It's just - it wasn't even doing anything and you walked up to it and bashed its head in with a rock."
Boyfriend: "That is actually kind of disturbing..."
Me: "I know! That's why I'm mad at you."
Boyfriend: "Wait... you're actually upset about this?"
Me: "Of course I'm upset! You murdered my pet unicorn!"
Boyfriend: "But remember how I didn't actually do that and it was just a dream?"
Me: "Yeah, but I loved Phineus."
Boyfriend: "Now it has a name?"
Me: "It always had a name! Did you think I was going to just not name my unicorn? How would I get its attention?"
Boyfriend: "I don't know... clapping?"
Me: "That would never work. What if we went to a concert or something... he would be so confused!"
Boyfriend: "Okay, what about - you know what? I'm not going to discuss this with you. This is ridiculous."
Me: "Whistling might work... it might learn to recognize my whistle..."
Boyfriend: "I'm going to go make lunch."
Me: "But what am I supposed to do? I'm still mad and I have no outlet."
Boyfriend: "I don't know - draw a picture to express your feelings. That usually seems to help."
Me: "Okay."
