Tuesday, January 12, 2010

There's a Lesson in Here Somewhere... I Think it's "Don't Kill Your Girlfriend's Pet Unicorn"

Last night, I dreamt that I had a pet unicorn.  And then Boyfriend killed it.  When I woke up, I was still kind of mad.  Boyfriend was like "what's wrong?"

Me: "I had a bad dream."

Boyfriend:  "I'm sorry.  What was it about?"

Me: "I had a pet unicorn... "

Boyfriend:  "That doesn't sound bad at all.  That actually sounds pretty awesome."

Me:  "No, but you killed it."

Boyfriend:  "I killed your unicorn?"

Me:  "Yeah."

Boyfriend:  "Why would I do that?"

Me:  "I don't know.  You tell me."

Boyfriend:  "Allie, I can't tell you because I didn't actually do anything."

Me:  "I'm confused."

Boyfriend:  "Why?"

Me:  "Because what you are saying is logical, but I'm still totally pissed at you for killing my unicorn."

Boyfriend:  "But I didn't kill your unicorn.  Unicorns don't even exist."

Me: "I know that...  It's just - it wasn't even doing anything and you walked up to it and bashed its head in with a rock."

Boyfriend:  "That is actually kind of disturbing..."

Me:  "I know!  That's why I'm mad at you."

Boyfriend:  "Wait... you're actually upset about this?"

Me:  "Of course I'm upset!  You murdered my pet unicorn!"  

Boyfriend:  "But remember how I didn't actually do that and it was just a dream?"

Me:  "Yeah, but I loved Phineus."

Boyfriend:  "Now it has a name?"

Me:  "It always had a name!  Did you think I was going to just not name my unicorn?  How would I get its attention?"

Boyfriend:  "I don't know... clapping?"

Me:  "That would never work.  What if we went to a concert or something... he would be so confused!"

Boyfriend:  "Okay, what about - you know what?  I'm not going to discuss this with you.  This is ridiculous."

Me:  "Whistling might work... it might learn to recognize my whistle..."

Boyfriend:  "I'm going to go make lunch."

Me:  "But what am I supposed to do?  I'm still mad and I have no outlet."

Boyfriend:  "I don't know - draw a picture to express your feelings.  That usually seems to help."

Me:  "Okay."



I showed the picture to Boyfriend and he wasn't very supportive.  He just said "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Me:  "I feel a lot better now, thanks for asking."

Boyfriend:  "Is that a sword?"

Me:  "Yeah."

Boyfriend: "I stabbed it with a sword and beat it with a rock?"

Me:  "It's an over-dramatization."

Boyfriend:  "Did it need over-dramatizing?"

And the answer is yes.  Yes it did.  Because that's how it feels when someone kills your pet unicorn for no reason.  

Febriana Febriana

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