Wednesday, March 17, 2010

U B Hatin'

Hi haters!  Welcome to my blog!

I seem to be rapidly approaching my goal of becoming an important part of the internet because I woke up this morning to a string of badly misspelled hate mail and syntax-free angry comments.  Normally, this would have made me crumple into a heap of trembling anxiety and self-hatred, but for the last few weeks, I have been secretly training to withstand superhuman amounts of hatred by hitting myself in the face with a bag full of bird carcasses, so I'm ready for this.

First of all, congratulations for noticing that I draw pictures!  Apparently, other people draw pictures too!  I know this because you have kindly informed me that I am copying Natalie Dee, XKCD, The Oatmeal, Nicholas Gurewitch and several 4Chan memes.


While I must admit to being influenced by all of those sources, I feel that the diversity and breadth of your accusations prove that I am not copying any one of them.  Also, I don't know if you've ever drawn anything, but there are a limited number of ways to draw a face.  I could draw something like this:


But that picture doesn't really make any sense.  No one would understand what I was even trying to do. 

Haters, you also pointed out that I wrote about cake and pie and that other people in the world have written about cake and pie too.  This is true.  I am sorry that I talked about something that other people have talked about before.  Please allow me to apologize by providing a preview of what it would look like if I only posted unique combinations of words that had never been talked about before:


That was stupid.  No one wants to read about that because it has no context and it doesn't even have any sentence-structure. I will never, ever, EVER intentionally copy someone else's work, but the internet is really big and no matter what precautions I take, chances are good that I will say something at some point that has been said before. That's just how statistics work. I am sorry.

Anyway, I have been told that if I want to do lots of shit on the internet and have lots of people see it, I will have to deal with haters.  Forever.  Luckily, I wrote this post and every time I get an email accusing me of stealing something or telling me that I suck or that I'm going to hell for swearing, I can simply reply with a link and then go about the rest of my day doing important things like blogging about pie and drawing pictures of bears.


P.S.  In the interest of fairness, I feel that I should also mention the overwhelming amount of positive feedback I've gotten in the last few days.  For every hate-filled email or comment I've received, there have been at least 100 supportive and wonderful emails/comments.  Even my rigorous hatred-withstanding training could not have gotten me through this without you guys.  Thank you.  You make me love the internet so much that my face hurts.

Febriana Febriana

About Febriana Febriana

Author Description here.. Nulla sagittis convallis. Curabitur consequat. Quisque metus enim, venenatis fermentum, mollis in, porta et, nibh. Duis vulputate elit in elit. Mauris dictum libero id justo.